I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
