I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
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From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
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We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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