Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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