she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
