im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
