I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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