I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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