Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
