In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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