what day is it and did you see me today?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
