They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
