Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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