No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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