Pants 0. Shit 1.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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