I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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