your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
