im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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