Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
