I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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