so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
