respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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