I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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