Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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