I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize