just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
