I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
