He asked to "fluff my boner.."
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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