apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
