Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
well you can't waste a boner
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
