I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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