what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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