i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
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I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
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I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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