your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
