I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
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So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
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I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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