If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize