But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
