I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
