Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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