But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
