I wish I could punch you in the face.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
