careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
