I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
