I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
