I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
