He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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