and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We have so much sex to catch up on
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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