plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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