Its about making memories worth repressing
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
