I accidentally burped into my bong.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
