okay pat passed out under dana's car
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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