considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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