We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
