I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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