when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
