They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
