I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
