a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
