It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
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dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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