Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
