North Korea, Best Korea!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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