every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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